There’s a moment many artists quietly experience.
You sit down to price your class…
and something inside you tightens.
You think:
- “Keep it low”
- “Make it affordable”
- “Don’t scare people away”
But underneath that is something deeper:
Discomfort.
Unease.
A subtle sense of shame.
And strangely…
free feels safer than receiving.
The Real Fear Beneath It
At the core, it often sounds like this:
“If I ask for money, I might be judged or rejected.”
This doesn’t come from nowhere.
It comes from a much earlier place where your system learned:
“When I express myself fully, it’s not safe.”
How You Learned It Was Safer to Be Less
This didn’t happen because something was wrong with you.
It happened because, at different moments in your life, your natural way of being wasn’t fully received.
Maybe you were expressive… and it felt like too much for others.
Maybe you needed something… and it wasn’t met with openness.
Maybe you were visible… and it was subtly discouraged.
So, slowly and quietly, your system adapted.
You learned that it’s safer to hold yourself back than to risk discomfort, judgment, or disconnection.
You didn’t become smaller because you were meant to.
You became smaller because it helped you feel accepted.
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1. You expressed a need → it was shut down
You asked for attention, help, and small desires and received:
- “Don’t ask so much”
- irritation or silence
- emotional withdrawal
So your system learned: “My needs create discomfort. Asking is unsafe.”
Now: Asking for money = asking for something
So your body responds with contraction, hesitation & shame.
______________________________
2. You took up space → it was corrected
You were expressive, emotional, excited and heard:
- “Be quiet”
- “Don’t show off”
- “Stay humble”
So you internalized: “If I take up space, I’ll be judged.”
Now:
Charging more = taking space
And your system flags it as: “Unsafe visibility.”
______________________________
3. You were compared or evaluated
You heard “Look at others…”, “Do better…”, praise only when you performed
So you learned: “I must prove my worth to be accepted.”
Now: Money becomes tied to worthiness
And somewhere inside: It feels safer to charge less than risk not being enough.
______________________________
4. Love felt conditional
You felt:
- more accepted when you were “good”
- less accepted when you were fully yourself
So you adapted: “I must regulate myself to be accepted.”
Now:
Asking for money feels like:
- “I might lose approval”
- “I might be seen negatively”
So Where Does This Feeling of “I Am Too Much” Come From?
It usually doesn’t come from one big moment. It builds slowly… through small, repeated experiences.
Moments where you felt like:
- you were too expressive
- too emotional
- too excited
- too visible
Or…
- you asked for something
- you needed attention
- you wanted more
And instead of being fully received, something in the response made you pause.
Maybe words like:
- “Don’t be like that”
- “Stay quiet”
- “Don’t ask so much”
Or sometimes not even words…
Just a shift in energy: discomfort, irritation, withdrawal.
Why This Shows Up Around Money
Because money is not just money.
It represents:
- asking
- receiving
- being seen
- being valued
- taking space
So when you price your class… All old imprints activate at once.
The Truth You Need to Hold On To
You were never “too much.”
What actually happened: Your environment had a limited capacity to hold your expression.
And you adapted intelligently:
- by shrinking
- by proving
- by avoiding asking
A Gentle Shift for Artists
What if this isn’t about pricing at all?
What if it’s about: Relearning how to receive without shame.
What if charging is not:
- arrogance
- greed
- “too much”
But simply: Allowing yourself to take up space.
A Small Practice
Next time you price something, notice:
- the hesitation
- the urge to lower it
- the voice that says “make it easier for others”
Pause.
And remind yourself: “This is an old pattern trying to protect me.”
Not truth.
Not reality.
Just memory.
And then… Choose your price from who you are becoming — not who you had to be.
